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    July 19, 2011

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    FOUR YEARS. GO.

    Things I Didn't Know I'd Have To Say To My Kids

    • Why does your room smell like mustard?
    • Please untie your Grandpa.
    • No penises on the table!
    • Get your Legos out of my milk.
    • Please stop chasing your sister with the chainsaw.
    • Please get your finger out of his nose.
    • Don't scream like that again unless your hair is on fire.
    • Why is there a lawn chair on my bed?
    • Stop barking at the neighbours!