bribery....
Today was one of those days. You know...one of those days. We've all been sick, in one form or another, for several weeks now. Lucky for us there seems to be a variety of viruses to catch this winter. And minus H1N1, we've seen them all. At the moment I can't hear out of one ear, and haven't been able to taste anything for over a week. Good times. Add to the list of complaints that today is Monday, historically not one of our greatest days as a family....and there you have it, the Perfect Storm.
So what did I decide to do with my sweet, adorable children today? Why.....run errands of course. I like to live on the edge.....either that or I'm just insane. I prefer the first alternative.
It didn't take more than 5 minutes for the chaos to erupt in the Bio-Hazard Zone. You know the area I'm referring to...the one surrounding the car seats. I have discovered new forms of life existing quite successfully under and around my kids car seats...a post for another time perhaps. The point for today is that in less than 5 minutes the insults (and shoes) were flying in the back seat.
"Poo-poo head!"
"MAMA! She called me a poo-poo head!"
"Dukie poo-poo butt!"
"MAMA! He called me a dukie poo-poo butt!"
"Doodie butt face!"
"MAMA!......"
You get the idea. I'll spare you the rest of the warm fuzzies. Needless to say after the 3rd shoe went flying, I stopped the car on the side of the road. In that instant I swear I possessed by my father...
" If you don't stop (insert inappropriate behavior of choice here) RIGHT NOW, I will TURN THIS CAR AROUND, and we WILL go home!!!! Do you hear me??!"
Really, I swear. I actually said it. I know.....you're all shocked.
What's unfortunate in this situation, is that it wasn't actually an honest threat. I NEEDED to get those errands done. Turning the car around was not an option. And my alien-possessed children knew it. The silence lasted for less than 10 seconds before the insults and shoes were a-flyin' once again.
So what does a mother do in a situation like this? The answer is obvious, really. Bribery.
Tap Tap....(is this thing on?)
Are you listening people?
BRIBERY.
In this specific instance....$1 crafts from Michaels, which happened to be just down the road from where we currently sitting in the still parked car. My kids luuuuuuuuuv the $1 craft bins at Michaels.... merely mentioning it was enough to silence them. Seriously. It's like the sky opened up and suddenly a heavenly light was shining down upon us, sitting there on the side of the road.
And so, off we went. First to Michaels, and then to finish our errands. For the rest of the trip, there was only the crinkling of packaging from the two chosen $1 crafts. And when we got home....more crinkling of packaging, and then, painting.
